Qiqi's Diary

No one wants to die, even those who commit suicide. I can only imagine how lonely and in pain one must feel to take their own life. What had to happen for them to be pushed so far over that the only choice they felt they had was death by their own effort. My heart goes out to those who feel the light forgot them. For as long as the sun still shines, the light will never leave you.  You are LOVED deeply by me,  Goodnight <3

Tonight's song: Destiny's Child - Brown Eyes I can't wait to welcome love back into my life, I find myself thinking about my husband alot lately, his eyes, his smile, his hands, his voice, how gentle, and kind he will be.  I don't know the fate between me and my future husband but I know that he will love me, my husband will love me fully and honestly. I get shy even thinking about how much I miss him already. I can't wait for him to show me the true meaning of love, love in its purest form, gentle, kind, and considerate.  I can't wait to wake up next to him and admire his existence as the sun gently plants kisses on his peaceful beautiful face. Oh to love and be loved.  My husband will be tall, strong, but also gentle, and he will coax me, he will never stop trying to win me over. A man after my own heart. I love him so much already. *giggles* The thought of him soothes me every night, its only a matter of time before my thoughts turn into a beautiful reality. ...

When I met my former boyfriend years ago I used to see him around town alot before ever formerly meeting him. A year later he introduced himself to me and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I agreed because I just could quite understand what it was about him that felt so... familiar.  We dated for about 2 years before he broke it off with me. We had a good relationship before the break up but we lived in different cities so he left me for someone who lived in his town, which ofcourse was shortlived and within 2 months he reached out asking to get back together.  Like any normal person I burst out in laughter because to be fair there was no real reason that called for a break up between us, and he just didn't want to work things out he was so set on leaving me.  My heart wanted to agree so bad, but logic disagreed, it made no sense, he begged to see me for weeks but I still haven't seen him, I was just so skeptical of him.  What would you have done in my shoes? Would y...

I don't really know what to do anymore, I've been feeling lonely for years now so I should be used to it by now, but the truth is I'm not. I don't have friends and my family isolates me, I can't help but feel like something is wrong with their perception of me. I'm not complaining or sulking, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to, laugh with, and create memories with.  *Dramatic sigh* How frustrating this is...